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Uzbekistan

The final chapter – Uzbekistan

I am very sorry to advise that there will be no Special Correspondent report this time.  He says he is suffering from mental exhaustion from being made to look at too many old buildings. and physical exhaustion as well, from the tour leader’s obsession with walking as much as possible.  I don’t think he is really that badly effected and suspect he just wants to get home.

We have now finished the tour and are in Tashkent where we fly out from tomorrow.  Our last country has been Uzbekistan to which we had two visits.  The first one started in Termiz, the place where I had to climb the hotel fence at 4am.  From there we went to Buhkara and then after visiting the delightful Turkmenistan we came back to Uzbekistan and went to Nukus, the Aral Sea, Khiva, Samakand and now Tashkent.

Uzbekistan is mostly flat and is an irrigated desert. It grows a great deal of cotton, has about thirty million people including the obligatory president for life and is a police state, but no where as obviously as next door.  There are plenty of road blocks and lots of uniforms and I don’t think a crusading reporter would be around for long, but on the surface it is a friendly and relaxed place.  As previously reported we wondered what we had struck on our first day in Termiz, we were out on a local look drive but didn’t realise we needed our passports.  At the first road block we tried using our NZ driving licenses, but that didn’t work so back to the hotel.  Apparently all the attention there was because it is close to the Afghan border and the associated drugs.   When we were getting ready to leave the next morning Colin was  approached by our nearly non-English speaking driver and asked for a reasonable amount of money, which he handed over.  I fired off an email to the tour organiser asking what was going on, but all was soon revealed when we had to have an oil change and and apparently the driver had run out of cash.  We also had to advance the cost of a bribe to get through a road block quickly, but were repaid on arrival in Buhkara.   Colin was obviously distracted by all of this because he later found he had left his wallet in the car which caused a short panic before being quickly solved.

Buhkara, Khiva and Samakand are the serious Silk Road attractions in Uzbekistan and therefore are interesting because of the history and the sheer beauty of some of the sights.  To go with that are tour parties, mostly of old people, and lots of tourist retail activity.  We are now experts on silk, cotton and camel wool scarfs and given the number Colin has bought he may be going to open a shop.  We have taken all the necessary pictures and even made a special night visit to the Registan to see it all lit up.   The biggest advantage of tourist places is that you can get a decent feed and sometimes a reasonable glass of wine.

Food is not a strong point in Central Asia.  Generally it is plain cooking based on meat, potatoes, carrots and rice.  The much vaunted plov turns out to be all of that together.  About the only interesting flavours have come from fennel and the sometimes available chilly sauce.  There must be something tough in the food because gold teeth, especially sort of edging of the front ones, is common.  We recently had an overnight train trip and took our meal with us so we would have the right amount of nutrition and induce sleep.  Bread, salami and vodka.

Colin was still recovering from the effects of a wobbly stomach when we got to Nukus so didn’t come on the overnight camping trip to the Aral Sea.  All alone, apart from a driver and guide, I went to look at the biggest ecological stuff up in the world and it is impressive how much of the lake has gone.  From the once main town on where the shore used to be we drove 200ks to the present shore.   The driver told of how he used to swim at Moynak, the town where there used to be a fish cannery, and now it’s visited to look at the rusting boats sitting where they used to float.  I had a Dead Sea swim because it is so salty and can report it is fun floating on one’s back with arms and legs up in the air.  The lake is disappearing simply because Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan take all the water that should flow into it for irrigation.  There are regular conferences about how to fix it but it won’t happen because Uzbekistan is fixated with growing cotton which is a major earner, and Turkmenistan probably could afford to stop irrigation but they would have a huge unemployment problem.  So it will end up another desert and I suppose there is an argument that says if they would rather have an agricultural industry than a big lake, why shouldn’t they.

One of the fun things about visiting Uzbekistan is the currency.  The black market rates mean things are cheap, just to pick a random example a 1.5 litre bottle of beer costs about $1.20.  The downside is that the money comes in 1000 Som notes, each of which is worth about 20 cents and that means walking around with an inch thick wad of cash.  Locals can count it at impressive speed and the thick pile diminishes very quickly. If you change US$100 you need a bag to carry it.

Central Asia has been a great trip with a lot of variety of scenery, people, political organisations and roads.  Lately the roads have been reasonable but we have endured some of the worst I have seen.  The weather has been kind although one of us has mentioned a few times that he doesn’t like being cold and also doesn’t like being hot.  The accommodation has covered the lot from a shared tent with a useless zip, to yurts and to a five star marble palace with all graduations in between.  Colin and I have managed seven weeks without any arguments or sulking and probably confused our various drivers and guides by our strange kiwi bloke humour.  Luckily we have not been detained by uniformed personal but Colin has tried hard to find the boundaries for ageing tourists.

But wait……

Colin says, I’m not exhausted but am ready for home. Dennis has organised a great trip and we have had very few downs and many, many ups. It’s very special to have a travel companion where you can share the joys and also cope with the glitches if they arrive.

So we say farewell to Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan and a small bit of Kazakhstan and hope to see you soon.

Dennis and Colin.

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Tajikistan Uzbekistan

Postscript to Chapter 2. The Ultimate Border Crossing

We were picked up at 5.30pm to be taken to the Uzbekistan border and I think it was that early for the midnight crossing because we were a nuisance that needed to be sent away.  It normally takes about an hour to the border but we got tangled up in a traffic jam and it took two and a half hours.  The jam up was all to do with a completely woggish attitude to an intersection.

It was dark when we arrived, 8pm,  and our man reckoned we had a chance of getting through the Uzbek formalities early.  Yeah right.  We walked along paths and various buildings for the Tajikistan farewell and then dragged our bags down the road for about 500m to the first check in Uzbekistan.  This was a soldier who was supposed to be a dumb idiot, but he wasn’t and saw immediately we were trying to enter on the 14th when our visas were for the 15th.  “Nyet” was his response and we were pointed back the way we had come.  Not far from the Tajikistan side was a closed duty free shop with useful looking steps so we decided to sit there.  I went back to see if we could use a table in the Tajikistan building, but more nyet.  So we settled down, the temperature was fine, we ate our evening snack, Col found a nice pile of straw to put his sleeping bag on and I got on with Spyder Solitare.  Then an unnamed person that wasn’t me decided to take a photo and as it was dark his flash went off.  The response was as predictable as it was speedy, and a soldier came to discuss local security concerns and point us further down the road.

So we trundled to about the center of no mans land and found another good spot each, to wait out the hours until midnight.  I had a strong street light to read by and a big cube of concrete to sit on.  It got a bit chilly as the time dragged by and we both ended up in warm jackets and beanies.  Col was lying on the verge of the road and occasionally remarking that it was great to go travelling with me.

At a quarter to twelve we started to walk as slowly as we could to the nyet soldier.  After an initial hesitation and a radio discussion he let us continue.  There were absolutely no other border crossing people about.  We got to the foot of the steps to the Uzbek immigration building and were stopped and pointed to a seat because it was four minutes early.  Eventually the four minutes passed and we were allowed in at midnight.  The passport checking guy took about quarter of an hour to do his thing, and then we got to meet the customs man.

He was rude, arrogant, abusive and the very worst of any of that sort of official I have ever dealt with.  He was probably bored and he probably decided we were gay and therefore in possession of graphically explicit pornography, or he was just the complete prick.  He rummaged through all my stuff, throwing it on the table, and then he got into my laptop.  Initially I couldn’t get it open and he made it clear I was an idiot and that I was trying to hide something.  He hooked up my little speaker to see if it went but didn’t believe me when I tried to explain that my iPod had stopped working and he had a go at prising it open.  By this time he had the laptop going and was searching through it, showing a particular interest in pictures.  Then he found the little short videos that you mistakenly make when trying to take a picture.  The first one was of orangutans in Borneo, but then he came up with something really interesting which I didn’t know was there.  It was of the almost naked Vanuatu people dancing as the young guys do their version of a bungee jump.  Very exciting for him and he thought he could see a topless woman.  Next was all my pills and medicines which he tried to check with a Cyrillic check list.  Eventually I was dismissed as some sort of deviant cretin and I packed up as he started on Colin.

I thought that if he found my medical stuff interesting he was in for a much bigger thrill.  Col was being suitably calm even when escorted into a room along with another guy who he said was police.  When Col held his arms out for the search he was told no, and the other guy was patted down.  We cannot understand what that was about.  He did all the same computer stuff and finally asked a question in one word plus hand movements which was “Sex ?”.  I watched Col give him a long look and reply “I have a wife.”   As Col was trying to pack up our friend turned the lights off twice, and then we walked out the door at 1.30am to find our car.

It was at least half a k to the end of a dark track where another soldier checked our passports and a sleepy driver emerged from a car.  He had been there eleven hours.  At 4am we reached our hotel in Termiz to find it surrounded by a smart wrought iron fence about 2.5m high with each gate securely padlocked.  Our driver has a dicky leg. Col is really old. And I was very keen to get into bed so I climbed over, nearly getting stuck on the pointy bits on the top and hammered on the front door, which turned out to be open.  People appeared, keys were handed over and we went to bed in Uzbekistan.